Huw Watkins interview
What was the hardest thing about caring for someone who has had a stroke?
The worry; definitely the worry. Not knowing what the outcome will be, not knowing whether the result will be a relative or a partner who is incapacitated, or even perhaps losing a partner. And if the outcome is not fatal, how incapacitated, how affected your relative will be. What will the future hold? What makes things harder is that no-one, not even the medicals, the doctors and nurses, can tell you what will happen. So the worry, the uncertainty - that was for me the hardest thing to bear.
What was the biggest help?
Family support. Without question, having relatives who keep in close touch, relatives who help with the hospital visiting and later help with the caring. Most importantly for me was the feeling that the family was united, supportive over whatever decisions had to be taken. To answer the question another way, a disunited family, a family that argued and disagreed over decisions would, I guess, be an additional cross to bear, not a help at all.
What are the two or three things that carers most need to help them cope?
Obviously, the support of the family - already mentioned - that's number one. Then support from the stroke team, the specialists who work with people who have had a stroke. I'm thinking mainly of the therapists, the physiotherapists, the occupational therapists, the speech therapists, all of whom work with stroke survivors. And while your relative is confined to hospital, caring nurses. I was very fortunate in the help my wife received, and most people I've met in similar situations speak very warmly of the stroke teams they've met.
What do you hope your book will do for others in your situation?
I've tried to make suggestions, practical suggestions, about dealing with the various issues that carers meet. Of course every stroke is different and there are bound to be differences in the issues facing carers. But underlying all strokes, there are basic considerations: for example, communicating with the person - what to say and how to say it; working with the hospital staff - what to expect from them and how best to help them: matters of that kind. Some of these are basic common sense, but common sense tends to fly out of the window when we're faced with a crisis, and I think it's helpful to be reminded of it.
Who else is the book aimed at?
I do hope the book will be useful to a wider group than relatives of stroke survivors. You see, it may help those who are learning to work with the families of stroke survivors, to understand the feelings and concerns - not so much of the person who has had a stroke, but of the relatives. The relatives, the carers, need help just as much as the person who has had a stroke, and, for example, those volunteers in the social work field who generously offer to support relatives may find the experiences related in the book of some help in broadening their understanding.
One piece of advice for the carer of someone who has just suffered a stroke?
Assuming the carer has seen the doctor, the next port of call is undoubtedly one of the organisations concerned with stroke survivors and their families. Get in touch with your local branch. The two biggest organisations are The Stroke Association, and for younger people who have had a stroke, Different Strokes.
Find out more about Huw's book At a stroke
