Feeling empty

TalkStroke closes on 5 February 2018

As My Stroke Guide has grown into a trusted online stroke community and support tool, we’re closing TalkStroke and asking you to register for My Stroke Guide. It will be easier for you to get all the online support you need, all in one place.

This unique, custom-built tool gives you the opportunity to create your own social profile, make friends with other users and message them directly. There are many ways to interact with one another, such as using the My social forum, posting on the public social wall and joining specific groups based on your interests.

We hope you register for My Stroke Guide, which is quick, easy and takes no longer than five minutes. You can register whenever you want to – either before 5 February or after the closure. You’ll benefit from using all the new features and keep the conversation alive in a supportive and welcoming community.

We’d like to thank you for all your commitment to TalkStroke and we hope you join us soon on My Stroke Guide, our trusted online stroke community and support tool.

If you have any questions, please call us on 0300 222 5707 or email us on mystrokeguide@stroke.org.uk

I had my stroke this year in october on the 20th. I'm home fom the 17th of november. My left side is week. I'm not having rehabilitation at home. The social care closed my case cause I'm independent enough. They saying so but I don't feel like this. I'm coking for my family and improving but I don't feel i quick enough. I'm walking with a stick in the house ang I want to get rid of it. I hate it to be a crap.Weekdays I'm home alone and feel very empty. I'm scared that I'm not improveing and I'll pass the 6 month and it will slow down more. I would be glad if anyone knows some excersize what I could do to get betteron

Hi Bogtim, Sorry to hear of your stroke. You are in very, very early days. I am 20 months post stroke and still improving. You sound as if you are doing pretty well. I was on a frame for several weeks before starting on a stick. Please remember the leg and foot improve faster than the arm and hand, because they perform less complex functions. Utilise all limbs as much as possible. In my area, I had six weeks physio at home from the Community Stroke Team, but support varies. I now go to three strength and balance classes a week. One is at our local Life AfterStroke Centre. You can get recommended forexercise support by your gp.

Improvement is fast at first, then slows down. Expect good days and bad days. Life After Stroke can be quite frustrating, but I can cook,bake, make jam and change a duvet cover (40 mins and much swearing). These things might not interest you at all, but whatever you do, break tasks down into stages and do them bit by bit. I still get post stroke fatigue and will be off to bed for an hour after writing this.

Accept that life won’t be the same, but work hard to be the best you can. Good luck in your journey.

To survive a stroke and have to face slow recovery is bad enough for an older person like me. You have the added burden of having to raise and care for a family. I take my hat off to you!
Deigh

Thanks for the answers. I accept that I won't be the same again. I'm positive and I'm smiling a lot but is just hard to accept that I have good days but mor bad days. It feels so good to know that I'm not alone with my thinkings and others have similar fears

Timea, Yes, once you accept that the old you has gone, it is easier to start improving the situation as much as one can. Your name suggests that you are not from England. Where was your home?
Improvement will not slow down, it will seem almost unobtainable at times but you will surprise yourself on what regular exercise can achieve. I am, after three years, still unhappy with my speech and spend a big part of the day just working on it. At times I get annoyed with seeming lack of progress!
Deigh

I'm from Hungary. Living in England4 years now. My english is far from perfect and that's why it is difficult to understand everything properly what doctors saying.

If you find, it hard to understand, explain this to the doctors. There is nothing worse than not knowing what has been said to you. You will probably start to be able to move around the house without the stick by ‘furniture walking’ using furniture and walls to lean on. I can now walk round the house pretty well. Before I got home, I was told to expect falls and to get the odd bruise. This has happened, but I have also been taught how to get up if ai do fall.

I think the real problem is that no doctor can tell you how you will do as an individual. A lot relies on you and the willingness to keep repeating tasks and exercises. At first I could hold nothing in my weak hand and broke quite a few things. I exerucise this hand with a tin of fruit to try and improve muscle tone.

You really have to learn patience, even if you never had it before. The tendency is that if you fail in a task, you take it out on those around you. My partner sometimes has to tell me to stop shouting. The simplest failures can be the most irritating, like not being able to reach for something or mislaying something. On the other hand, I also developed some odd obsessions like having to stoop to pick up small pieces of paper off the floor. I also love folding things like towels and sweaters.

Do try to find out if there are strength and balance classes near you. They really do help. I also listen to a lot of classical music, just to keep myself calm. Another irritating thing is that people start to tell you how well you look, even when you feel down.

I never expected a stroke, but have learnt so much about myself and other people since it happened. Often we forget the distance we have travelled and it is only when people who saw us early on comment on our progress that we realise that, yes, we have improved and will improve further. I can even cut my fingernails again, not very well, but I can do it.

I also marvel at the brain’s ability to restore things, not by an act of our will, but because it is a wondrous thing in itself. To me it is like a circuit board restoring itself. You are getting there Bogtim and the only way is up.

Few days ago I started to move around in the house with out my stick and surprised but I can do it. This gave memore power! I also noticed that I can do more things with my weak hand and is just my willing what I need and concentration. I'm not that kind of person who just giving up. I will recover even it take long. I know it for sure! :-)

Anyway this is my third stroke and I'm only 34

Thanks for reply about your birthplace. Yes, I can accept your slowness in understanding what your doctor says to you. Why not ask us, through this forum, what you are having difficulty accepting and see if we can explain things better?
Deigh

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Stroke Association is a Company Limited by Guarantee, registered in England and Wales (No 61274). Registered office: Stroke Association House, 240 City Road, London EC1V 2PR.

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