Just need to vent

Hi there.
I've been my hubbies primary carer for over 3 years now. It has been a long road for both of us, to say the least, but we have tried to be positive. Hubby is affected on his right side, has memory problems plus Aphasia so working out what he is trying to say is a task in itself........unless he is annoyed, then he can swear as clear as day, which is apparently unique in his circumstances. He had a bad epileptic fit a couple of months ago and ever since then he seems to have gradually deteriorated. This past week has been a nightmare as he seems to have just given up making any effort. I'm finding it very difficult to hold my emotions in check, I just want to cry all the time. It's not helpful that I have recently had my own health issues and am just coming to terms with that. I just don't know how to motivate him back to 'himself'. I feel very selfish but I am going stir crazy too. I haven't been out of the house for weeks because he can't be left alone and there is nobody I can ask to sit with him. He won't let me take him out in the wheelchair so that I can go for a walk. Once I went out at 3am but when I got back he was screaming for me so I just can't chance it any more. So frustrated that he won't let me help him. OK vent over, I'll be fine now.

Hi Bobz
Sorry to hear of your situation especially when you also have health issues too. Have you tried speaking with your GP or Social services regarding some carer assistance and respite? It can be a long struggle looking after someone recovering from a stroke and you need to think about yourself too.
Sending you a hug. Rachel x

Thank you for your reply Rachel2405 and the much needed hug. I do have carers attend to help with washing etc but he has deteriorated so it takes 2 of us, which means I don't get a chance to pop out. Care homes are out of the question because he is terrified of them. Doing tests via GP/district nurse at the moment, just waiting for results. X

Hi Bobz, I can understand your difficulties regarding aphasia, hubby had his stroke nearly 10 years ago and some days I think my head will explode as I try to tell him something or understand what he is trying to say.And yes, he also swears like a trouper clear as day!!
I am sorry to hear of your hubbys deterioration, and your health problems, your circumstances seem very difficult. Venting your steam is a positive step forward, I sometime wish I could go to the middle of nowhere and scream my head off.
I hope things can improve for you but also know that your role is a very difficult one, you are not selfish, caring for a grown man who needs so much attention/care is exhausting, you are in my thoughts , Sheils.

Thanks Sheils. Sorry I haven't replied sooner. Hubby has been in hospital since last Tuesday so been running back and forth. He seems to be on the mend at last.......strangely I can't wait for him to come home, the house is so quiet without him LOL X

Thats good to hear that he is on the mend. Looking forward to hearing more news from you.
Deigh

so pleased hubby is on the mend Bobz, I know what you mean, as tough as things can get, its MUCH better to have them around than not....

Hello Deigh and Sheils.
Well, it's been a hectic week. Finally managed to get hubby up and walking, even though he's a bit doddery, on his walking frame. Much more dignified for him than 'wetting his pants'. He always faces things head on in such a jovial way and he keeps my spirits up just as much as I do his. Bit of a blow then on Monday when the consultant decided to send his CT scan to a lung specialist for reviewing........keeping everything crossed that it is much ado about nothing.
Thanks for listening.
Regards, Bobz X

well done to you and hubby Bobz, it is such hard work for both of you. Every improvement is such a milestone.
Fingers crossed for the CT results.
My dear hubby had another of his spectacular falls, got stuck in the loo this time, what a struggle to get him up and out!! Amazing thing is we are now laughing about it, as you say Bobz, keeping spirits up!

Thank you for your kind words..........sheils I am sending you a private message. X

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