Recent stroke

TalkStroke closes on 5 February 2018

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Hi all, my hubby suffered a stroke Monday night/Tuesday morning of this week . Was researching on the net and came across you guys. Life changing in a second . Brief outline normal ish family 2 grownup daughters living at home . Hubby 59 . His stroke has affected his right side, speak and understanding. Devastated . One hour 45minutes for an ambulance from dialling 999 to getting to a &e. If honest not sure what I'm expecting from here as mind in turmoil. But guess good place to start

Hi Chrissy, so sorry about your husband and the fact that the ambulance took such a long time. Stroke comes out of the blue and is devastating for the person experiencing the stroke and the partner. Suddenly, everything changes and all the certainties in life disappear.

Please start by recognising that your husband has survived and is in good hands. My stroke affected my left side and at the beginning, I could not stand or walk, my left arm was like a dead thing and I felt as if I was having an out of body experience. I have no memory of the first four or five days and no recollection of my trip to A&E or my brain scan. Gradually, I felt myself return to my body. I saw how devastated my partner was, but all I could do was lie there helpless. Slowly, very slowly, I improved. Physio got me to stand, then walk with a frame, then with a stick. I had to use all my determination to make even an inch of progress. I had to be taught to wash and shave by myself, dress And tie my shoelaces. Eighteen months on, I walk with a stick, cook, make jam, iron a little bit and, with difficulty, change a duvet cover.

My partner thought neither of us had anything to look forward too, but this has not been the case, I encouraged him to join a carers group and,as I improved, have some time in the day away from me. Now we can go on short breaks, and although he checks on me at night and first thing in the morning, he is less anxious about me. I cannot go out by myself and have to be taken to all appointments and events, but I’m still exercising, still improving.

Your husband’s brain will re-wire itself and work round the damaged brain cells and,for me, this was,and is, an odd experience. I had involuntary leg movements at night and odd electric shock like spasms down the arm and fingers. A lot will depend on his grit and determination. An ability to laugh at himself will help. The other day, after peeling an onion, it shot out of my hand half way across the kitchen! Bear in mind, however, that frustration about his condition is also likely to make him angry and depressed.

This forum is full of great people and it was a relief to find people whose experiences mirrored my own. They will also advise you. Do come back ant time you need help. At the moment, you are at the very earliest stage of both your journeys and my thoughts are with you.

As I'm sure others will have told you, no two strokes are alike, and therefore prognosis and recovery can vary wildly.

I was in Hospital for nearly 2 months, and had to learn how to walk again (also I couldn't swallow for 4 months) - but now nearly 2 years on, I'm back working full time and able to most (c.95%) of what I could previously do (albeit - in some cases a little more slowly). So there is definitely hope.

In my case I think the two main attributes (as well as the type of stroke) were a positive can-do attitude, and really pushing myself at whatever the rehab team asked me.

I was however really fortunate that my cognitive abilities were not impaired, and my speech was only slightly impacted.

Thank you for taking time to reply, providing hope for us all, bit of a knock back today scan shows clot intact and also an aneurism which we are now waiting on neurosurgeons to decide what are his best options

So sorry to hear that your hubby has suffered a stroke Chrissy. My Mum had a hemmhoragic stroke two and a half weeks ago. Affected right side, though not too badly but her speech and memory is affected. She is home already but will take time to get speech back so just trying to help as much as possible. Such a worrying time and hoping they can get rid of clot and aneurysm. Know the sick feeling you are going through as every waking moment felt an anxiousness when it happened. Take care, Sharon

Thanks Sharon , yep not like closing my eyes as worse case scenarios rush through my mind. Time will be the teller , just wish his visitors would stop saying he looks so well , surely they know it's the inside

Alas, Chrissy, they don’t. We survivors get this all the time, long after the stroke itself. I get told this all the time and there is an assumption I should be just as I always was. This is not possible. There are physical and mental after effects that survivors have to cope with. Hope they sort the clot.

Thanks john for your support

Yes Chrissy everyone says my Mum looks well, they don't seem to get that what is happening is all internal and not even doctors can see without their scans. Mum is 77 and have to be positive now as has eaten me up over past couple of weeks. Your hubby would be younger and stronger so hopefully his brain will heal better. Was told there will always be some tissue damage and scarring but with therapy speech and memory will improve. Comes on so quickly so no time to prepare but reading through others posts has helped me understand a bit more. Hope things will improve for your hubby, awful time for any family. Sharon

Dear Chrissycrabs
So sorry to learn about your hubby.
The next stage is for the doctors to accept he is medically fit. That can be surprisingly soon, 5 days in my case.
I appreciate there are complications for Mr Crab but would it help if I mentioned that I was 68, Initially paralysed and could hardly move, just the right hand was working. Home on day 5. Brilliant early discharge team came to my home for six weeks. Physical recovery 90% in just a couple of weeks. I am now 22 months. I drive short distances. Climb a step ladder, can look after myself for a week. Deal with the household finances and I tend to our very long garden.

Its a long slow recovery path.

As mentioned, no two strokes are the same, and some of us do get lucky.

Come online and ask anything, lots of us are here with tips and sympathy.
and please say hello to hubby from me.

Best wishes




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