Desperately need help

Hello,
I'm new to this forum as I've suffered something that no one has been able to help me with and I've been left feeling very poorly with cognitive problems and in pain along with a whole host of things and I was looking for some help and advice,

I'm a 33 year old male married with 2 young children, back in Feb 2013 one evening I experienced I large tremor it felt it started in my head down my spine and knocked me to my knees, I felt what I can only imagine was a snap or click in my head also it all happened as quick as a click of the fingers,
As the click happened my perception altered and so did my cognition -
I was with my wife and two children aged 6 & 2 at the time - I lost what felt was facial recognition of them and where I was so I began to panic.
I went bed thinking it was sleep deprivation, it's only dawned on me recently (due to poor cognition) that night I lost the ability to think "I need to call a Ambulance" type thinking, it's horrendous.
The next morning I woke up feeling very bad I struggled to dress myself, everything felt cognitively harder even tying my shoe laces, it felt as though my brain had gone from automatic to shut down to manual. Everything was painful and hard to complete even a basic conversation or task was and still is painful and hard. It's been 4 years nearly and 24:7 I'm stuck in pain struggling cognitively and altered perception from the night that all happened.
I suffer nerve pains, severe head pains that get worse when doing basic cognitive tasks - the longer I go the worse I become, I experience loss of speech or slur my words from what feels like intense pressure in my head from what I can only explain is me trying to function and use a part of the brain I feel is damaged or not responding and it hurts. At the same time it makes my perception more inwards like a deep tunnel vision, it feels like all the back of my head is dead and painful to use, visualising is painful trying to try to visualise a persons face or a place ect, it causes tremors down my spine.
I suffer alot of tremor trying to Manually think in a way I use to automsyically be able to think, because I don't no more I try to and it hurts - i can feel pressure pushing on my head as though I'm forcing to try to use a part of my brain again isn't functioning.

I now also have to use a breathing machine at night as I have have a constant head pain and pressure in the back of my head that alters my autonomic breathing when I drift off, I now start to jerk, my left leg twitches and I instantly stop breathing.

Roughly a week after that tremor I experienced a serve amount of pain one evening all over the top of my head and the back - it was so bad I fell to my knees and screamed for 20 minutes solid! I am 6ft 20st, I can only describe the pain like blood was being drained out of my brain or someone was ripping my soul out through my head, it was horrendous, I got nerve pains for months after that that would come in intense short 15-20 minute periods that effected my breathing and physical ability to stand and walk and talk or move my legs, I would also have strange dull feelings in my head that left me disoriented and confused. I thought these could of been TIAs I'm not sure.
Baring in mind I was experiencing all this why still feeling very bad with my cogbtion and perception.

I had to leave my job, we lost our home as my wife had to care for me so she left her job,

I suffer alot of different problems physically but the worst is my alteration in perception, processing, thinking, being aware, all these cogbtihr issues.

I have had MRI brain scans but this shown no structural damage,
I had a brain spect scan that shown reduced perfusion in parietal, temporal lobes I think also occipital not sure on that, I'm being told this scan is pointless...yet it shows these reductions, any advice would be a massive help as I say my cognition isn't the best to work things out, it's the "working things out" that is physically painful and hard for me it can trigger bodily problems and motor function problems ad well as a drop in cofbgive ability even worse and vision and spacial awareness ect.

I'm being told I haven't had a stoke - yet the problems and things I experienced are not nomal and the way I've been left isn't right surely,

Can anyone possibly help me? I struggle to think for myself it's just not there no more I have to be prompted to eat and drink that's how my cogntion has altered - I don't think about people or places I use to be aware of, I'm in head pain 24/7 and as well as feeling cognitive and perception declined and in pain when trying to try I struggle on a hourly basis to feel the way I've been left and no answers to what or why.

Thank you so much in advance I've probably missed some obvious detail out.
The main issue for me is work - I use to be a gas engineer I'm not lucky if I wake in the morning aware this even exists without being prompted, it's frustrating as I can be like this with my own children when not with them.

I need help to figure this out and what tests can I ask for from my GP or hospital,

Many thanks.

Hello,

I'm not entirely sure why you are posting on a Stroke Forum when it's obvious you have not actually had a stroke. A bit of a tremor and no obvious brain damage isn't a stroke by anyone's definition.

No-one on this forum is medically qualified, so I can only suggest that you seek professional medical advice.

Try Googling less about your anxieties and listen to the medical advice you are probably being given.

Damian

As mentioned above, Im NOT medically qualified. But from my experience/perception, all of your symptoms are so familiar to me. I had these episodes prior to my stroke and used to stop mid way through the day in my van and try to sleep them off. Then..........bang............it happened. I could copy and paste your description because you are far more descriptive and eloquent than I am. Maybe this is your warning. Are you any stroke prevention meds ? I guess this is not the help you were seeking,but good luck with further investigation from the medical profession. Fortunately, they haven`t had a stroke so are just working from text books and previous experiences they have dealt with.

First off I'm not googling "my anxieties" I wasn't "googling my anxiety the night I fell to the floor and experienced a life changing episode of alteration of cognition and perception along with severe pains and alteration t li how I am able to walk and function so what are you ok about?
If you call losing your function of legs and speech with drop attacks anxiety you obviously haven't a idea what I'm going through so if you have nothing helpful to say don't bother talking complete crap I am not a idiot I was a engineer before hand with a technical ability so now that I struggle with s child's jigsaw is not "googling my symptoms"
Why is obvious I have not had a stroke or similar? I have been chronically like this now for 4 years 24/7 so there obviously has been some sort of alteration to cogntive brain function, a bit of a tremor was not how ild describe it. I am a 33 year old male boxer 22st 6ft 5, that lotto tremor knocked me to my knees from a standing postion with a instant alteration in perception and cognition - I wouldt call that a little tremor - I'm posting on here for advice, I'm sorry if my post didn't match your experience of a stroke but I assume every stroke and the way a person experiences it are different, oh and what do you think I've been doing for the last 4 years? I've exhausted the "mental healt" route all I've seen have ruled out a mental health illness do this is why I have turned to looking in to other things.

Regarding work huntspete - it started in work tbh I was experiencing episode of suddenly losing my strength and my spatial awareness, along with pressure and sensations in my head, sort of as though I was put underwater and disorientated, these would last 20 minute or so to where I would have to get out the clients home and wait in the van until it passed so I could carry on my work to get my job done and get home,
The at before I had the huge tremor I was working with my apprentice and this happened again why I was on my hands and knees infront of a gas appliance why working on it only this time I lost my speech and I couldn't reply to my apprentice, I had a weird burning sensation in my head, simlar to what I still get now just before I can't move my legs or talk, I had to leave work early that day I struggled to find my way home due to poor cognition the same route I had drove for 10 years.

Since that evening i had that "small tremor" and the instant alteration I don't feel the same my body dosnt function like it use to, as I've said my cognition has altered to where it's painful to read a book, and with no answer to what happened that's why I am on here seeking some advice or looking for similar experience to my own.
Sorry for any grammar mistakes - one of my problems since that night,

I also thought maybe form of alteration to blood flow because back when I was 21 I suffered a blood clot to my left lung.

Hi Ollie,

Thanks for explaining. Your posts are a bit confusing. I'm a Stroke Survivor who has had significant right brain damage, so I read things very literally. That said, we will try to help you, if we can.

You've had some follow up medical investigations that show no brain damage but you feel you have had lasting effects?

You may have 'only' had a mini stroke which has left some lasting damage but which isn't showing up on scans.

We say time and time again that every stroke is different: the location and extent of the brain damage is different for everyone that has one.

Beyond that, I can't add very much: we are all left to make sense of it and get on with life. The medical professionals can fill in many gaps but it will ultimately come down to you. I was half-paralysed, incontinent, unable to eat or drink and part blind. I have most of my life back now. I'm still a father to four children, still work full time but have a lot of my brain missing and lots of deficits. But that's okay because I'm not dead and much better off than other people.

As a boxer, you'll hopefully understand that life has hit you with a knockout blow in round 5 (out of 12). Now, only you can get yourself back up and get back into the fight.

Damian

Sorry if i come across a little hard I didn't mean to sound funny I'm honesty fed up of people telling me to get on with it, stop googling and it's anxiety - I am a very hard working and proud person, I trained hard in my care and physically worked hard from the day I left school, since becoming like this I can no longer do my job cogntive wise I've tried and the way it leaves me is horrendous. I was medically suspended in Feb 2015 by my employer, since that my wife has had to leave her career she worked 15 years for to care for me, we lost our home all sorts these are all things if this was just anxiety I would not let happen to us as a family, Trust me I thought until I had no choice but accept physically working was having a severe effect on the way I was already struggling.
That's the worst part I have no control over how much I can cognitively function, and physicals and cogntive demand makes things for me worse, going the gym now I have done once in 4 years, simply because it had a severe impact on me in 5 minutes of being there, I wet myself, I fell over, I was in pain, slurring my words, and so on.
Even standing and trying to kick a ball In the garden with my little lad is painful and has an effect on me to where I need to stop, I use to play semi pro football, captain of my local team for 4 years,
I can remember the pre season a month before I fell ill I went training and my balance and spatial awareness was off, I couldn't judge my position and flight of the ball, I felt strange something wasn't right and even my manager and colleagues noticed too the same with my apprentice in work.

You mention a small stroke but no physical sight of damage - how is this diagnosed?

I find a lot of my problems are at the back of my head, it's where my pains and problems feel, the dull heavyness the pressure and so on, my tremors come from here too down my spine when trying to use the back of my head consciously.
For example trying to feel distance from where I am to home visualising distance physically hurts and as I try I get pressure in the bank of my head and tremor, if I'm at home my children in school I don't feel aware of them unless prompted same with eating and drinking but there is pain and pressure there instead, if I try to visualise my children in school the same I get immense pressure and pain just for trying, it's feels function related not psychological.

I know no one can say yes it's a stroke it's not what I'm after I'm just after anyone with similar problems that could offer at least some advice.
If it was something I could get on with I would trust me I'm built that way.
My higher cognitive function is intact obviously I know it's happened and I know to search and post on here it's the back of the head - spatial awareness, time and place, ideas, visualisation, autonomic somatic body functions, aware of just been and come from, aware I can go and do this or that, it's as all the back of my head is heavy dull and painful to consciously use as it feels dead itself.

If it's not a stroke what the hell had happened to me, I don't google all day it's pot luck if I even realise I have a phone - when I was ok in with my phone never left my side .....it's this type of awareness I no longer have fully.

Pain and frustration I can deal with pain but it's the perception and cognition alteration I struggle to cope with.

Hi again,
Sorry, my patience has run out, Mr "Mark Batty".

This makes no sense and half of it reads as if you've put it through Google Translate.

Now, in less than a thousand words: you had an incident 4 1/2 years ago, lost your job 2 1/2 years ago, lost your home and your wife had to care for you for 15 years. Added up that makes 22 years. And you're 33 now, so you were pretty impressive being a gas fitter and married when you were 11 years old.

In plain English, you're either lying or you're crazy. Please go somewhere else.

Damian

Damien - please read the last post again - Ollie said his wife gave up her career of 15 years, not 15 years ago. The 4 1/2 years (2013) run concurrently with th 2 1/2 years since losing his job.
Being a newbie here, I would hope that derogatory comments (calling a person either a liar or crazy) is not the way of other posters. It was nearly 6 years before medics diagnozed me as epeleptic - in the meantime I had at least 10 seizures and many petit mals - so not diagnosing a (mini) stroke is not beyond the realms of belief.

Ollie - I am no medic, but possibly the boxing has somethinhg to do with it - I hope that (the boxing) is history. Have you mentioned this to your GP?

Lying or crazy....? Why would I lye? To gain what exactly, give me a break,

I Fell I'll in around the end of November 13 suffering small episodes loss of legs functioning, los of speech ect but it was Feb 2014 I suffered the big problem I explain and the alteration.
I was off work for 5 months as a gas engineer from Feb to august we had nothing! Not a pot to piss in and being the person I am I lied to my dr and employee and went back work in work in august 14 as I have 2 children one being called "Ollie" and I was worried I could not provide for them as it was getting close to Christmas time, I killed myself until Christmas was here - I did a physical mentally demanding job in fitting fire and fireplaces for the likes of footballers and such so it killed me to do my job physically and cognitively but I did it out of shear pride and the last of the fight in me, I had time over to try to get better but didn't, I went back new year and worked up until Feb 15, I wasn't recovering and my employer could tell I was not well so I was medically suspended by my employer, the job I did since leaving school in 2001,
My partner / wife I have been with since 2002 married in 2008 left her job in march 2015 it would been 15 years for her to date - sorry I got confused , she left to become my full time carer She worked that job since 2002 when she left school, she's a year younger than me!
It will be 4 years February! It's been so long and so hard it's hard to keep up and like I explain my cognition isn't the best no more and putting things together including posts, texts emails is a struggle and it's painful - god I'm lucky if I'm able to recal a hour ago without trying hard give me a break mate,
Yes my real name is mark, I don't like putting my personal life all over the internet with my real name so thanks stating that, like it means anything.
To be called a liar is damn right disgraceful, crazy is little below the belt, come on,
I can't believe the reply tbh - I come on here as i had someone tell me I may of been suffering TIAs - I've never heard of them before I googled them and found this site, I asked for advice with my symptoms I got called a liar and crazy....like I have the time to deal with idiots like you what I've been through lost and going through,

I have spoken with my Gp about the boxing it was not full fighting just sparing and fitness,
I had an hour with my GP today he is now saying he will look in to the possibility it is a stroke - my problem is I was instantly labelled with anxiety because months before I experienced these issues I had some stress so everyone I seen was going off this and saying it has to be anxiety related, yet dosnt dress cause high blood pressure and high blood pressure can cause strokes, no tests or investigating was done first to rule out anything physical then say nope it's anxiety related it was just it has to be anxiety end of, they soon started picking at my childhood my parents become the worst in the world and my childhood and "terrible" upbringing was to blame as all psychology blames - my childhood was pretty good tbh but I got ptsd from my mum not reading me a story every night, I had already been given a label and that why I am still bad because it's a false and lazy diagnoses, now I've been down that route the last four years being told it's not anxiety related every person I've seen even paid private £100ph and turned away after my second appointment by the psychotherapist saying I've never come across these issues it seems more neurological in nature I can't treat you. Only today at 4.30 my gp has the report off a therapist I have been trying to work with for 20 weeks telling him I need some neurological tests this he didn't think was trauma or anxiety based he is now saying we will finally look at it as a possible stroke, only because he now has reports from EMDR therapists the top level of mental health on the NHS saying this is not anxiety type symptoms or what happened that night to me dosnt fit with any anxiety disorder.
I have never said it isn't my problems are well documented and have stayed the same everytime I've told it, why would I bother lye I have 2 children and a career I worked hard to build what do I gain from lying,
Think outside the box - my main issue is cogntive, I'm sorry if my grammar is poor.
Iphone auto correct don't help either

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