My mum today

Ok so my 79 year old mum had a massive stroke on 6 October. She can’t speak, Littke swallow reflex and no movement in right side. She is alert will nod in response and say yes and ok occasionally too. We’ve been told today that this is the best we gonna get from her and that she’ll never walk or talk and will need 24 hour care. They also said that the nodding etc is us clutching at straws!!! I refuse to believe that my mum doesn’t know me and my family and just sees us as ‘kind people’!! I don’t know what to do now as they’ve basically said she medically fit and they need the bed and that we should start thinking about a nursing home. They also said that Mum won’t realise that she not the same so in effect knows no different?

Hi Whirlybird sorry to hear about your Mum. I hate that the "experts" write off your Mum so early after her stroke. I'm no expert but can relate to what you're saying as I feel my Mum isn't being given an accurate assessment of her abilities. The nurses think I'm kidding myself about her cognitive abilities as they are with her 24 hours a day. But they are not sitting talking to her for 3-4 hours a day like I am. I think you know your Mum, if you can see progress hold onto that and don't let anyone take away that hope. I'm determined to fight for my Mum and will do my utmost to get her better. Find out if there's anything you can help her with as now is the crucial time for the brain connections to reroute themselves.

Sending you hugs and best wishes to your Mum

Hey! Last Thursday I honestly thought that yes she doesn’t know me and says yes to everything! Tonight was better, I told her I’d washed my hair in Herbal Essence and she stroked it! They told us last week she’d never eat yet for the last 3 days her swallow reflex is back albeit she spits out the puréed food! I’m not daft I know she has brain damage but after 2 weeks can they really say? I know I’m not going to get my Mum back fully but I feel with the right rehab we WILL get more. How’s your mum today? X

So glad you are seeing your Mum respond and some improvements in her swallow. Don't give up hope, she may not be the same but she is still your Mum and I'm sure she knows you from what you say. I would hate to think that if I was in the same situation that no one would fight for me. My Mum is definitely all there but she is unable to express herself properly sometimes and doesn't always respond to instructions from the nurses but somehow I can mostly get what she is saying and with perseverance get her to follow instructions. I know it is really frustrating for her when she can't get her words out but she is making progress. Hopefully your Mum is turning a corner and you will see more improvement each day. Fingers crossed x

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