Hi, my 71 year old mother in law had a stroke 2 years ago which effected her left side. She was in hospital for a couple of months before returning home with regular community physios coming in to the house. This lasted a few weeks. She has never regained use of her left arm and her fingers are now closed into her hand. She can only walk with the aid of a frame and my father in law holding her. She has incontinence problems and regular UTI's. The biggest problem is her mental state, she has been seeing people that aren't there and thinking she's in places that she's not since the stroke. She thinks her husband is having an affair with a nurse and that he leaves her overnight. She's had a number of falls, one resulting in a broken hip and tries to get up unaided regularly. My father in law is run ragged, he has no help with cleaning or caring and no respite. My husband talked with the GP about our concerns and they made her an appointment but she always passes the cognitive tests, her mind is very sharp in some respects. My father in law is starting to admit that he can't cope with it, he is worn out and doesn't know what to do. They aren't entitled to much help financially but we just need pointing in the right direction really. It may be time to look at a nursing home. Thank you for any advice.
Have you considered respite care? It might be helpful for your father in law to get the short break he needs, but it needs also to be considered from the point of view of your mother in law who thinks even a night's break is something else.
Just a thought.