Another day spent in bed

Yet another day I'm spending in bed. My affected side from stroke 10 months ago is getting me down. Numb face. Spasms with my arm.
I just wished I could have the attitude to move myself.
A stroke will happen if I lay in bed or move around. Any twinge it's another stroke.
Any twinge in my face is another stroke.
I'm on anti depressants. Lorazepam. Clopedogrel.
The thought of getting up and having a shower scares me.
Anyone else get the same feelings.
I can't be alone with these symptoms or is it my stress and anxiety.
My gp is useless.
Thanks sam

Samantha, I fear it is your stress and anxiety and I wish you were not in such a dark place. None of us can predict the future, but we can all do what we can to be the best that we can. I still have occasional leg spasms, but I put that down to the brain still sorting out what needs to be done. My weak side is still weak, but I can do much more with the hand and arm that I used to. I cannot wish this weakness away, but have learnt to live with it.

I still have bed rest for an hour each day, but I will not stay there. I can still be useful round the house and I feel my life is worth living. The fact that you can get up and shower is wonderful. Many cannot even do that. I do hope your feelings and emotions will improve. Life must be wretched for you at the moment.

Dear Samantha
I do feel for you. I had clinical depression many years ago and I would not want to revisit. In fact I am determined to never go there again. Now I have stroke fatigue and the other delights that follow a stroke. Having both together is a thoroughly awful thing for you.

Do please get up each morning. If you cant wash or get dressed etc at least get up. You then have a chance of recovery that day. And you have the nicer point that you can go to bed in the evening.

For one month after stroke you may have been more vulnerable to a second stroke, but not now you have passed that time scale. You are less likely to have another stroke because you are on medication to avoid another stroke .

I guess there could be an airplane hit your home and kill you, but its not worth worrying about. Likewise its not worth worrying about a second stroke.

Many die of stroke. You did not. You survived and that alone makes you a special person. So please join us other survivors and make what we can of our new lives.

Please smile
Please be positive.
We are all on your side

Colin

Stay strong darling. Positive thinking is your most powerful weapon. the fact that you care about how you feel is the first step. You can beat this xx

Best thing to do is get some sort of routine going aim to get back to work or go for a walk or whatever you are able to do just do as much as you can. I've pretty much accepted like everyone in the world I am going to die FACT I might die of cancer I might die of another stroke or I might die in my sleep at a ripe old age, it's actually surprising how much time I think about dying these days! Pretty morbid lol. I'm trying to enjoy everything until my time is up though. What antidepressants are you on sertraline is good for post traumatic stress? Maybe it's time to change your approach to things if you are not progressing.

When I was a boy my mum had depression so bad she spent all day and all night in bed and I couldn't understand why she couldn't just roll her sleeves up and get on with it, but then after my stroke I got depression and then I realised and understood how she felt, and after years of resentment I finally let go of it. The difference between me and my mum was I got out of bed because it was the worst place for me I did housework (obsessed with bleaching the toilet) washing up, laundry anything to make myself feel useful, the sense of feeling useful slowly restored confidence in myself and my abilities and then I really started progressing. It's easy for me to say all this I was only left with a small unnoticeable drop on my mouth and mental problems after my stroke. I was very lucky.

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