My mum

Hi my 79 year old Mum had a mini stroke on weds, after going by ambulance they checked her over then gave her blood thinning meds’ and sent her home. I took her to mine settled her in bed about half ten. Found her unconscious covered in vomit at 6-30 half dressed the next day. They scanned her eventually (she was very agitated) and operated to remove a large clot. The clot removal was successful. That was at 11 am on 6th. Since then she has slept more or less the whole time, she is breathing now without oxygen, she isn’t recognising my voice at all and when her eyes do open she looks straight thru me. The stroke has affected her right side. They are due to scan her again to see what damage there is but I’m not hopeful. I just want comfort from you, has my old mum gone or am I giving up hope too quickly???

Hi Whirlybird, I am 73 and had my stroke eighteen months ago. I can remember falling and being found, but have very little recollection of the next four or five days. When I did start to be aware of my surroundings, I did not feel like ‘me’. Part of me was in my body, but the rest seemed elsewhere. Then I woke up one day, I knew I was ‘back’. I had left side paralysis and could not stand or walk. Little by little, staff and physio got me back onto my feet and, eventually,home.

From that point, I had to work my way back towards normality. I had lost a stone in weight and experienced muscle wastage in my left arm and leg. However, I can now walk with a stick, cook, bake and make jams and chutneys. I still need to improve further and have come to realise I now need to work on the muscle wastage in my left arm. Progress is always good at first, but slows down later. Progression,however, can go on for years.

Mum is only at the beginning of her journey. I am eighteen months on and life is reasonable. Encourage her all you can. At the moment she is in a dark place, but she has survived and there will be light at the end of the tunnel. My thoughts are with you at this difficult time.

Dear Whirlybird
So sorry to hear of Mums illness.
It is far too soon to give up. Far far too soon.
A stroke bit me when I was 68. That was left side paralysis (right side of brain damaged) and part of my right side was also paralysed. I too bake cakes, can walk, I even drive and get up a step ladder. That's 21 months after stroke. Far too early to give up on Mum.

You would learn more if/when the MRi scan is completed. Doctors will then have a better chance of seeing what damage is done. At that stage, for me, that was as bad as it got and its all recovery from then on. Maybe the operation has some issues or maybe there are poor blood vessels, but what you really need to know is, what permanent damage is there. It shows up white on the scanner I went in.
I hear that doctors are compelled to say things like "prepare for the worst". If they don't say anything and the patient deteriorates then they might get sued. Daft but that's the world we live in nowadays.
The doctors will determine when she is medically fit. That was on day 5 for me. That's earlier than most.
There are risks for about the first 4 weeks.
John and I were chosen to survive, along with hundreds of others. Lets hope Mum is also chosen to survive.
I didn't want to know about conversing for several days. I really did not want people talking to me. My sight was OK. Memory shot. Emotions all over the place. Hallucinations (they were great fun).
Every stroke is different. Mums brain is now trying to sort out how to work around the damage. So it will probably close Mum down for much of the day. Sleeping for 22 hours a day is not unknown.

Terrible time for you WB possibly worse for you than Mum. My thoughts are with you


Colin, again thank u. Doctor just been only 10% of her brain was damaged but it is a severe stroke. He wants her to have a few more days and see where we go from there x

Hi whirlybird I am so sorry to hear about your Mums stroke it is a very worrying and frightening time for you not knowing what's really going on I really understand how you feel as I did lose my Mum to a stroke but it was a very long time ago and there is much better medication now. Your Mum has regained consciousness so that's a very good sign. It is very hard but try to have hope and remain positive. I am glad you have good Drs looking after her. When I had my stroke eight months ago I thought by now I would be better but it is a slow progress and since coming on this forum I have learnt I have to slow down. Now I take one day at a time and try and be patient. It is very early days for your Mum yet. I wish you all the very best and I hope your Mum will start to show some form of recovery very soon. Talking on this forum will help you it has me. You are in my thoughts big hug. Daisy x

Morning Daisy, your right all these experiences help. Mum is now moving the affected leg, the arm is still s dead weight but we have seen so much improvement. I know my mum is in there and I’ll do everything in my power to bring it all back with her. They’re hoping that once the swelling settles she’ll improve even more.
You too need to slow yourself down. Thanks once again cathryn c

Dear Whirlybird
Very pleased that Mum is showing signs of recovery. Our brains are truly amazing, they work around dead bits ("Neuroplasticity") and how that happens I don't know. I guess we are like babies, we have to relearn lots of basic things. Babies have special brains made to learn, but us adults don't have that, so we are slow to recover.
Whilst visiting Mum, I wonder if you might like to pick up the stroke association leaflets. They do give a lot of info that you will find informative and Mum might like to read them when she is progressing.

Best wishes


Hi whirlybird I am so pleased your Mum is making some progress that is such good news. It sounds as if you are doing a great job looking after her. Well done. Yes I am still learning about how the brain recovers after a stroke and you are right I do have to slow down. I am not sure if suddenly getting very emotional is something that happens to everybody but it happens to me some days i just cry for no reason really. Thought I would mention that in case one day you find your Mum crying I have been told that is all part of the recovery, so try not to worry. I hope you are looking after yourself too. Good luck to Mum's progress keep talking to her as well that may help. Best wishes. Daisy x

Dear Daisy
Lots of us get the crying stuff. I never cried (us men are not supposed to cry) but now I do. Irrational surges of tears and even now, some 21 months on, I avoid funerals and avoid some TV programs. So much to this stroke lark.

Hi Colin I am so sorry that happens to you, men can cry though you know it shows they have feelings, well I think so. I am exactly the same as you described yourself I cry at nearly everything on T V and I can't watch much it makes me very tired and hurts my eyes. It was a shock this still happens to you after21 months. I know I have to slow down but that is a long while to be slow! I am unhappy about it now and it's only nearly 8months since my stroke. At least I know I am not on my own now. Another thing Colin do you forget like me, when in the middle of a conversation my mind goes blank but then thankfully remember quite clearly what it was I was talking about a few minutes later. I hope you have had a good as weekend as possible. Best wishes Daisy




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