Not coping still

Well I'm now at the end of my teather.
Headaches. Feeling funny still.
Arm funny spasms.
Veins in my right leg go bright blue when I don't use my leg so I start thinking it's another build up to a stroke.
I hate going to the doctor's cause I just seem to get palmed off.
I'm fine when I'm in the house..
..don't ask me why cause I don't understand myself. But the moment I step outside the front door all symptoms seem to appear.
Am I going mad?
Am I causing the symptoms in my own head.
I know stress is an awful thing to suffer with and it affects people in many different ways but I feel alone and I feel people don't believe the symptoms I get.
I have probably had an ambulance out about 15 times now since my mini stroke last October.
I have also had to turn to a walking still for my right leg. Doctor's are saying sciatica but that's the leg where my veins go bright blue.
Is it something more serious.
I'm letting all this take over my life and I'm getting to the point where I don't want to go out. I just want to stay in bed all day.
Plz advise me as my doctors are literally useless.
Many thanks again
Sam

Dear Sam
You are not going mad.
Stress has alarming and odd effects. Stroke leaves many defects. So trying to deal with both stress and stroke is a big big ask.
I tried to take the problems one by one. And Doctors were helpful when I asked about one problem and described the problem with a great deal of forethought.
BTW did you not have a full stroke ? You mentioned mini strokes but didn't you have a full one at some time ?
Please don't stay in bed. Just get up and then see what you can manage.
Best wishes
Colin

Hi yes it was a full stroke but wasn't left with much disability.
Spasms of my arm are getting worse and the more I stress the more my jaw tingles.
But the veins in my leg are worrying me the most Colin.
Thanks for reply

Sam, I am sorry you are still stressed and worried. They sound like varicose veins to me, but I am not a doctor. Colin is right...try to deal with your problems one by one. My weak arm jerks a lot when it is tired, but I keep doing arm exercises and making sure I hold things in a certain way, I still have occasional tingles in my toes and, my fingers sort of tingle because they lack feeling. However, I do keep using them of different fabrics and surfaces to try to regain the feel of things.

As Colin says, please get out of bed and try to get through a day. Take your day step by step, task by task and problem by problem. Focus on what you can do and not on what may or may not happen. Life is still worth living.

Hi Colin. My arm has the feeling like it did before my last stroke. Or am I just stressing. Plus my left side of face feels numb.
Could all these be stress related.
I give up I really do

I also feel reasonably well at home. I spend most days at home alone and manage to walk pretty well around the house, but, as you say, the moment i step outside and lock the door i change. I feel disorientated and dizzy and not in full control of my mind and subsequently the gait stiffens up. I guess its all anxiety based and self conscious of how others see me. I will do it and face up to the world and hope one day to conquer it but until that day i dont feel like i belong. But, there is no alternative. Have to keep 'hope'.........tomorrow you might feel better.

Good morning Sam and Huntspete
Stress can give extraordinary symptoms, even mimicking a heart attack.
I am not a medic, but Sams feelings in the limbs are similar to what I got when very stressed. Long before the stroke got me.
Relaxation classes are a massive help.
Please don't give up Sam. You survived a stroke, so you are a special person. There must be a purpose to our lives and you, Sam, were spared so there is a purpose for you to be with us.

In some ways it is easier to deal with the physical effect of stroke as opposed to the cognitive side. If nothing else, others can see if you don't walk easily but others can not see what is going on inside our heads. My physical recovery was very fast but the cognitive side is slow.
I agree with the notion that we get overwhelmed. Our brains can sort out just so much but after that it wants to close down and we get overwhelmed.
I first walked in my garden, then later I walked a few yards down my road. That was a progression and not a sudden change. But driving to town and parking and going to the shops was far too much and I was overwhelmed. So I did it in little stages. Bit by bit. Baby steps.
And its all slow slow slow. But we do get there. And the sudden breakthroughs are just marvellous , when they arrive.
Smile
Be positive
You are not alone
Colin

Hi all
I went to doctor's today but I'm not happy with wat I was told.
He said there is no way I'm having another stroke.....how does he know that?
He says I won't have another one cause I'm on clopedogrel.
It's only a preventative. To help stop strokes from happening.
I told him my arm keeps going funny.
I.e numb but can still move it.
Then I get pins n needles in side of face the same side as my funny arm.
This is the time I'm thinking.......here it comes again.......I'm doomed.
I haven't been able to give up smoking due to the severe stress and anxiety the stroke caused.
Yet the more I'm stressing the more I smoke. Yes I know it's a big no no but if I didn't have a fag I would crack up.
I know I should give up but with stress like mine I don't stand a chance of quitting.
I don't drink and I don't really eat rubbish.
I thought seeing the gp would put my mind at ease but it hasn't.
I have severe arthritus in back of neck which I don't suppose helps my arms.
I'm on simvastatins
Lorazepam
Gastric tablets
Seroxatt
Clopedogrel and he is trying me now with amatripolin.
I swear this is causing my recovery to take 30 steps back instead of plodding slowly forward.
Sorry for the rant.
I know no one can say I'm not going to have another stroke......
But hearing those words make things ok for a few hours
Thanks for having the time to read this
Sam

Sam, don't even consider giving up smoking at this point in time. The damage has already been done and you need to be in good mental and physical condition to handle withdrawal. Wait till you've got the stroke recovery under control before you tackle it.
Eventually when the time is right you will do it and when that happens you will wonder why you ever started!
Deigh

Dear Sam
Your Doc is right about having another stroke. Its not a likely event. The Clopidogrel thins the blood so it wont creat a blockage. Over simplified but thats the gist of it.
I had that period when I was terrified of another stroke, but my fear went away in a very short time, possibly days. Many have written on here who have had the fear for a few weeks. So lots of us have the irrational fear. But for some reason your brain is not letting that fear go.

In my opinion several of your symptoms are consistent with extreme stress. Counselling and relaxation are both good ways of reducing stress.

I am changing my thoughts about smoking. I think Deigh is probably right, this is not the time to give up.

When I suffered clinical depression, Seroxat was very good to get me over the worst. I had decent NHS counselling to go hand in hand with the seroxat.

Or perhaps meditation ? I haven't tried it. But it probably would be the equivalent of relaxation classes.

Would it be an idea for you to take one problem at a time ? If you could shift he stress then the depression could be dealt with then any post stroke issues dealt with.

I wish I had a magic wand. But I can pray for your recovery. I will be at prayer between 9 and 10 this morning and you will be heavily in my prayers.

We do care about you.
So keep smiling
Be positive
You are not alone
Colin

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