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How do I get my mother to understand how much my life has changed since my stroke. I'm 1 year in after my stroke and making good progress but my mother seems to think life is easy for me. she doesn't understand that the pressure from her is putting my blood pressure up. she doesn't like my partner which also causes problems but he is amazing with my recovery helps me every step of the way. I need to give my mum a reality check about life after a stroke but how do I do that she is 73 with no real understanding of the struggles I have both emotionally and physically. I hate fighting with her makes me really upset

Dear Gizmo
Possibly select the SA leaflets appropriate to you and insist she reads them. (Leaflets are at he stroke units and at many GP surgeries).
Explain that most stroke victims die and you have been chosen to be one of the stroke survivors.

You can not allow her to increase your BP. That's not a choice. If she insists on being ignorant of your problems then you will have no choice to but to reduce contact. Your hubby must take first place. He helps and tries to understand. Mum does not. Game set and match.

Many of us fall out with family. I don't think our loved ones can cope with us being long term ill. I am about Mums age and she should at least try to help you. And not be a burden.

You are never going to return to the person you were before stroke. You are doing well to build your recovery in to someone with a decent quality of life. You have, probably, a year of building before you get anywhere near the finished article. Explain this to Mum. If she wants to be a part of the rebuild then great and the problem should ease.

I do feel for you.
Best wishes
Colin

I am heading for two years post stroke and am often amazed that most people around me are oblivious of the impact of stroke. Many people I know expect me to take up volunteering again or do major admin things. When I refuse politely and try to explain why, they look at me as if I am simply making excuses.We have just had a kitchen floor laid. When I came down from my nap, I told the floor layer I had to rest every afternoon, he said, ‘Lucky you.’ I then explained I had post stroke fatigue and rested through necessity and not choice. ‘Oh, is that why you can’t walk very well?’ He asked naively. I could have hit him.

Colin often describes stroke as a Cinderella condition and I think he is right. There is a lot about it that we don’t know. Simply by looking well, we’re assumed to be well, when we are far from it. I think there is little to be done sometimes than grin and bear it. You have my sympathy.

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