should we be concerned?

My dad had a stroke just over 3 weeks ago. He had no feeling in his left arm or leg. He now has a little feeling but it tends to come and go. A nurse said yesterday he'd not come along as well as they'd have hoped in the 3.5 weeks. Please can anyone share their experiences? I have heard of lots of success stories but don't know what sort of time it took. We are all so anxious about him at the moment. He is very depressed at the moment. I'm so glad I found this wonderful group the past posts have given us hope!

Dear Rebecca
So sorry to hear that your Dad has had a stroke.
The fact that he has some feeling in his left sided limbs is a good thing. That often means that a good recovery of those limbs will follow. That's exactly what happened to me, total paralysis, then some slight "feelings" then the ability to stand/use hand.
The time scale differs from person to person. I was 68 when the stroke bit and I went from paralysis to walking in a couple of days, but I fully acknowledge that's rare, I was just so lucky. Probably a miracle. For just a few of us its days, for some its weeks, for many its months and a few its years. No two strokes are the same.
The first 6 weeks or so are the time that the recovery happens fast, but after that, the recovery still happens, just slower. My "cognitive" side is taking years to recover, well two years so far !

You have to think about things from the nurses and doctors viewpoint. If they say Dad is doing well, and then he relapses, or if the Docs say he will be home soon and then it transpires he is bed ridden for life, then the nurses and doctors get sued. So it seems they are likely to warn of the worst scenarios. This is a ludicrous situation, but whilst we allow the NHS to be sued then that's what is going to happen. There are several recent posts where relatives have been warned to expect the worst, yet their patient has recovered OK.
Stroke is the Cinderella illness. Hopelessly underfunded and not understood. The Doctors do not know how your Dads brain is going to react. They have tons of experience and will probably suggest the better ways forward. But they simply can not tell what Dads unique brain will do.
There are trillions of neurons in Dads brain and thousands of them have been zapped. The chances of any two survivors having the same neurons zapped is nil.
Now back to Dad. As I say, I had a miraculous recovery of my limbs. Now I listened carefully to the Doctors and Physios and I did my exercises. In fact I did them three times over. I was cheerful and positive. That's important. Smile and be positive (Dad not you!). I could also feel the waves of depression hit me, daily. And I determined the depression wasn't coming in. Depression will slow Dads recovery a lot. Its an extra burden he could do without. Our recovery is down to Dad and me, not you, not my wife, not the nurses etc. Its down to us.

Thanks for the nice comments about this excellent forum.
Please tell Dad, be positive. Smile, and hello from me.
Colin

Thank you so much for your wise words Colin. I do keep reminding my mother that they don't know and can't give false hope. We have heard so many stories of good outcomes which is encouraging. It's a shame that it's under funded but it's definitely a charity that I will support going forwards.

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Stroke Association is a Company Limited by Guarantee, registered in England and Wales (No 61274). Registered office: Stroke Association House, 240 City Road, London EC1V 2PR.

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