Silence

Hello,
I hope you are all well today. I had two strokes a couple of weeks ago, on september 4th and 6th, aged 42, Primary Teacher, unknown cause.
I had left hemisphere stroke which has left me with expressive dysphasia. I am struggling with the word issues, reading and mostly the utter, utter silence. Sometimes it feels peaceful, but sometimes just so very scary as I guess those neural pathways are struggling away to make some new networks.
It feels a little less like the emptiness a little bit every day - but does it really improve?
Or do you just accept better about the silent feeling?
Thank you for any similar experiences about this, as I feel a little too quiet now,
Lesley

Hi Lesley, Welcome to the forum. I did not have this particular problem, but in the beginning my left side was paralysed and I could not stand or use my fingers. I now walk with a stick and my hand is now reasonable. All I can say is that neural pathways do find a way of bringing good improvement. In stroke recovery terms, a couple of weeks is very, very early. I am 18 months in and it was hard work to improve to the stage that I am now. Improvement is still taking place, albeit slowly. Others will be able to better advise you, but I urge you to keep your spirits up. Improvement will come!

Two strokes so close together...that was harsh.I lost my left side for roughly two days....i was lucky that i was admitted within half an hour of my stroke occuring and its the reason i recovered as quickly and fully as i did.(I was 43 in Jan when it happened).
It is still early days for you Lesley so don't give up hope....for weeks after i was discharged i could feel the activity taking place in my brain as it worked hard to sort itself out.
As i have read here many times,no two strokes are the same,so there's always a chance.
Sorry i can't comment on the speech issue.

Thank you so much for your message and sharing your experiences. Thank you also about urging me to keep up my spirits and the reassurance that improvement will come - we need to be resilient don't we?
I wonder if anyone else has the experience of the left hemisphere stroke basically cutting your words out?
Many thanks very much

Thats very reassuring Wayne - also nice to hear that you happened this at my age too! I can speak so much better already, but when I just sit alone it is as if all the usual thoughts that we usually have are completely empty. Could be great meditation in one way but a bit spooky too!

Dear Lesley
Sorry to hear of your double strokes but welcome to our forum.
All sorts of ailments occur after stroke. Including hearing. Mine was right sided stroke, so left sided paralysis. I have had lots of minor issues with hearing. It took me months to discover that my brain had forgotten how to process an echo. I would virtually collapse when any PA system was used. Then I twigged the problem and hey presto my brain reconnected with echo.
At your stage, eg very early, I very much cherished any quiet times.
Just about all the ailments can, and usually do, improve. Keep telling yourself that its not your organs nor your muscles that are defective, its "just" the messaging from your amazing but currently overwhelmed brain.
I was almost totally paralysed at first, but on day 3 I got up and walked (well staggered) so anything can happen. Be positive, smile a lot and your excellent attitude will get you through the worst.
Best wishes
Colin

Thank you Colin -I love that about 'smile a lot and excellent attitude'. It is overwhelming brain messages isn't it? Thank you about telling about what happened to you - wondrous that you staggered on day 3!

Dear Lesley
Yes indeed it is all about our amazing brains. No two strokes are the same but us survivors share a lot of common factors. I have noted that those who are positive and cheerful are those that recover better. The smile doesnt need to be real, it can be forced or false, but it is telling the brain that all is good and happy. It really does work !
Many of us have grim days and days when we are down and days when we don't know what to do for the best. So a positive attitude is needed. I set about 20 "goals" and each "goal" had a number of signposts. I wrote these down and crossed them off as I achieved the signposts and goals. Some were achieved in days, others I am still working on 21 months later.
I keep a stroke diary and find that useful.

The best tips and kindness and support have come from the angels on this site. I owe a great deal to them.

Have a good nights sleep

Colin

Lesley, like the others I am unable to reply to the silence problem. To me the world was incredibly noisy using my over-sensitive sound system. I even got up one night to switch off a fridge in the kitchen because it was seemingly roaring its way to do a simple job like keeping food cold. Even now after two and a half years the rock music coming from a Pub half a kilometer away can ruin my early night.
You have done well so far, keep us in touch with changes.
Deigh

Thank you - I like your smile and positive recovery - 20 goals idea and stroke diary - also lovely about the angels on this site too!

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