My mum had a stroke earlier this year and naturally all our focus is on her which is what we'd expected (without bitterness ). We nearly lost her and we are so grateful that we didn't it was honestly the worst night of our lives. The problem is there is noone that quite understands the impact on families. My mum has gone through such an awful devastating thing yet she is awful to us. She is hurtful and angry with everyone and anyone. We've been as patient as can be with her she just takes that as, us being condescending. If I hear my mum say or anyone that she's had a stroke one more time, like I'm being selfish I'll lose it. I'm exhausted and worn out with it all. I'm sick of my mum's 'I've had a stroke so I can treat everyone like dirt' mentality. Is it the stroke or is she using this as a tool? This sounds shocking but my mum was a very negative person before. It's as if the stroke has emphasised what was already there but at least she showed us some love before. I don't know. What do others think? Is it the stroke or is it within her control? She seems to turn the negative on and off depending on her visitor hence why I ask the question.