Where do I start? What the right questions to ask so I can best help my Mum?

Dear Rosie
Sorry to hear about Mums injury, its a difficult time for you.
No two strokes are the same, but many of us have common problems.
The stage that you want Mum to achieve is when the Doctors confirm she is medically fit. That will be soon, and might have already been declared.
Stroke is then an injury rather than an illness. The good thing is that its all recovery, albeit slow.
From your brief description, Mum will be in rehab for some time.
So might I suggest that your questions are(a) Is Mum medically fit yet ? and then(b) is there a rehab ward at the Royal Free.
There is just masses to learn and John has already touched on many valid points. I do not want to overwhelm you especially as many symptoms etc will not apply to Mum, as we are all different.
Can I suggest something else. Do try and be friendly and considerate towards the medical staff.
Confrontation is a bad option. You can not insist on very much, you rely on the goodwill of the medical staff who are generally rushed off their feet. Being on the ward 24/7 was an eye opener. Some visitors expected to see the Doctors every day, I saw how the staff reacted. It did not benefit the patient, far from it.
Another suggestion. You can not effect Mums recovery. Doctors can not effect Mums recovery, it is only Mum who can do it. If you read various postings on this site, you will begin to grasp that we have to effect our own recovery. Support is great, but its unlikely that you will be able to do much in telling Mum what would be best for her.
Mums recovery will be better if she is not overweight, does not smoke, is moderately fit and is young. Its then down to her own willpower.
I found it useful to keep a stroke diary, nothing detailed, just what I did each day and the level of my disability. Perhaps you could keep that until Mum is well enough to take it onboard.

I am assuming you are her only next of kin. If you intend to be there for her, then you need to start looking after yourself. You can not do everything, you need respite on a regular basis.

Try to get friends and family to help. Driving you about, visits to Mum, laundry, shopping etc. Anything that you can delegate will take a little stress from you. So if anyone asks "anything I can do" be ready to get them to take on a task, preferably long term.
You will be no use to Mum if you crack under the strain.

On the plus side, many of us do get a life back. It takes years rather than weeks, but there is life after stroke. And this site has more tips and advice than anywhere else.

Best wishes

Thu, 11/2/2017 - 2:14pm
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